The Layers of Self

Psychologists distinguish between several layers of self: the public self (how we present), the private self (what we know about ourselves), the unconscious self (what drives us without awareness), and the ideal self (who we wish we were). The gap between these layers is where most of our psychological tension lives.

Research from Higgins (1987) on self-discrepancy theory shows that the gap between your actual self and your ideal self produces anxiety — while the gap between your actual self and your 'ought' self (who you think you should be) produces guilt and shame. Understanding which gap you're living in changes how you approach growth.